Sandy and I have three biological children born in 1983, 1986 and 1990. Late in 1999, Sandy became unexpectedly pregnant and told me on Christmas Day. On New Years Day, 2000, she suffered a miscarriage. Although I had not yet bonded to the idea of another child in our home,
Sandy was, understandably, distraught with this loss. I knew Sandy was suffering over the loss of this child, but she was unable to share her feelings about it with me. So I mistakenly assumed that she was recovering and moving on. She was feeling a continuing need to nurture.
She kept these feelings to herself until September 2002, when she was watching a Christian morning show which was featuring a week-long series on adoption. When she saw a missionary to China named Tim Baker on one of the shows, she was mesmerized. One evening, in mid-September, she asked me if we could talk. After 20+ years of marriage, I knew that tone when I heard it and it usually meant some emotional discomfort for me. Then she proceeded to tell me about how the miscarriage revealed her continuing need to nurture a child. She desired another child.
I was taken aback and somewhat shocked when she confronted me with this. With Sandy now in her 40s, I told her I was against her having a child primarily for medical reasons (both her and the child). Also, with our children getting older and more independent, I told her I was beginning to look forward to the day when we would be able to spend more time together. Although I would have denied it at the time, I was being selfish and simply wanted her for myself and nobody
else. Then she told me about the revelation she had from watching Tim Baker on the morning show and was feeling led to adopt a child from China. So much for the medical excuse! How would I get around this one! Through the years, I had learned to respect her intuitive sense (which many times is the Holy Spirit speaking to her), and she wasn’t easily dissuaded. So I promised that I would pray about it.
So I did pray about it and God softened my heart over the next few weeks. Who was I to deny her that need to nurture? And how much would we enjoy that time together if she continued to carry this emptiness in her heart? Besides, I love children and I love to be around them, so what’s the big deal? After much prayer and consideration on my part, we applied to America World in mid-October, 2002, and we both became very excited.
We received Zoe’s (Jiang Xiao Yi) referral in November, 2003. It turns out that she had been abandoned on September 16, 2002, within days (possibly the same day) that Sandy felt burdened enough to reveal her feelings to me. Knowing how Sandy is and how the Lord works, I’m convinced that it was no coincidence.